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Introduction
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ESKIMO NELL
Long had started out as a cameraman, working on numerous films including Roman Polanski’s Repulsion before achieving success as a low-budget independent producer in 1970 with The Wife Swappers, which ran for an unprecedented two years at the Jacey Cinema opposite Selfridges. He had followed it with a string of other commercial successes in the field but was well aware that these cheaply made sex films for the “dirty mac brigade” had a rapidly diminishing audience. In 1973 he attended a preview of The Sex Thief and saw it as a forerunner to where the future lay: namely, the well made sex comedy. In January 1974, he contacted Drumbeat Productions who had produced the film and set up a meeting with its first time director, Martin Campbell, together with Armstrong who had written the screenplay from a treatment by Tudor Gates, under the pseudonym, Edward Hyde. Like all producers in the exploitation market, Long knew that a film’s success lay in its title. What actually happened on celluloid was of secondary consideration - and for him the ultimate title for a sex comedy had to be Eskimo Nell - the infamous, anonymous, unpublished dirty poem of the war years. Neither Armstrong nor Campbell knew the poem. When Long found a copy for Armstrong to read, the problem about turning it into a film became obvious. The poem was nothing but a long string of crude comic verses depicting the different exploits two prospectors get up to in a whorehouse culminating in the seemingly impossible task of sexually satisfying the principal whore, Eskimo Nell. Armstrong recalls: “There was just no way you could use any of it, let alone get a feature length story out of it. I thought back to Martin and I sitting there blankly in Stan’s office, completely unaffected by his wild enthusiasm for the title and, suddenly, I found the situation very funny - and that gave me the idea for the opening scene and the genus for the story.” Armstrong quickly developed the idea into a script outline and, by the end of January it had secured a distribution guarantee from Barry Jacobs at Eagle Films who had distributed Long’s other films. To protect the title of Eskimo Nell being stolen by a rival company, the film was announced under the working title, The Movie Makers. Embarking upon the screenplay, Armstrong drew upon old wounds and past experiences to write a comedy where specific individuals, companies and attitudes within the British and American exploitation market were satirised almost to a point of libel. At the same time, Armstrong minimised customary requirements for the sex market to a point of virtual extinction. While finding the script very funny, Jacobs expressed concern about the lack of actual sex scenes and the possibility of lawsuits due to many of the characters Armstrong had written being too easily identifiable as well-known industry figures. To alleviate his fears, certain names were changed and several dialogues modified. Also, purely for budgetary reasons, the end robbery was simplified into the one in the Download version of the screenplay. Armstrong made the appropriate alterations and then, as with The Sex Thief - took on the job of casting director. He had written the role of the director, Dennis, for himself and the role of Clive for Terence Edmond with whom both he and Campbell were keen to work again after The Sex Thief. Harris had been written for Brian Deacon - at the time, a highly regarded up-and coming British actor of stage, film and TV. Deacon was eager to play the role but, sadly, was unavailable for the shooting dates, so Campbell suggested the then unknown Christopher Timothy, who had already worked for Armstrong a few years earlier in his stage revue Etc... at the Arts Theatre. Others were quickly added to the cast list: Christopher Biggins - for whom Armstrong had written Jeremy, Nicholas Young (later to star in The Tomorrow People), Christopher Neil, Stephen Riddle and Prudence Drage for whom he had written the part of Millicent Bindle. The real turning point, however, came when Armstrong offered the role of Hermione to Katy Manning. Her regular character in Doctor Who had made her a major British name and, at the time, was starring in the West End hit comedy There’s A Girl In My Soup with Derek Nimmo and Jon Pertwee. Manning loved the part of Hermione and agreed to be in the film. Immediately, her agent, Tim Stone, was on the phone to Armstrong, stating that he should have been consulted first as his client did not appear in low budget sex films. An angry exchange ended with Armstrong sending Stone a copy of the script. Later that day, Stone phoned back. His suggestion threw the production into confusion. Campbell had been thinking of an up and coming comic, Mike Reid, for the role but Kinnear was internationally known and, currently, a very hot name as a result of The Three Musketeers and Juggernaut. He was, also, way outside the budget of the film. For artistes like Manning and Kinnear to agree to appear in a low budget sex comedy was unprecedented. Long - seeing the film now moving towards a potential mainstream audience - decided to continue his gamble all the way and, personally, put up the additional monies needed. With Kinnear in place, other highly respectable British names quickly followed: Diane Langton, Rosalind Knight, Richard Caldicot, Jeremy Hawk (John Cleese had been approached originally for the role) and Sheila Bernette - at that time one of the best known comic actresses on British TV for her regular involvement in the top-rated Candid Camera. Bernette readily agreed to appear in a cameo role after having pointed out that two short scenes for two different girls in the casting sequence were far funnier if run together as one. Similarly, from The Rocky Horror Show came the original narrator, Jonathan Adams and Rayner Bourton, the original Shooting took it even further. Campbell, who had no intention of directing a sex film, now had all the ammunition he needed with both script and cast to aim for the mainstream market - and he had a producer who was behind him.
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Copyright © 2004 Michael Armstrong |